February 27, 2010

True Love...


What is Love? True Love?
After just over a year of marriage, I know I still have much to learn, but when I look at the relationships between my parents, in-laws and grandparents, and my own marriage to my sweetheart, I feel like I'm really coming to more of an understanding of the true meaning of love.
It's so much more than just hugs and kisses, and the butterfly feeling you get each time they come in the room, though those things still play a part... It's wanting to always do everything you can to make them happy. It's holding them tight when you know they need it, and even when they don't. It's making them breakfast in bed when you know they aren't feeling well. It's cleaning the house and doing the dishes because you want to make them smile. It's taking the time to send a love note, or even just a text that can be as simple as an "I miss you" or.. "I love you". It's holding your tongue because the last thing you want to do is fight. It's not arguing over things that don't matter, but rather looking for positive ways to work things out. It's the look in your eye that screams "I LOVE YOU"! It's telling them they are beautiful, especially when they think they're not. It's the tender touch on your hand that is so soft and sweet that you get goosebumps. It's not needing entertainment or excitement, because just being together is enough. It's the time when you're laying in bed and your sweetheart starts singing "Your Song".. It's laughing until your sides hurt. It's supporting each other through thick and thin. It's offering to do things you hate doing, but for them, you'd do anything. It's being willing to make sacrifices. It's being willing to take risks. It's for never wanting to be apart. For finding joy in just being together. It's being together until the end and being so faithful and in love, that you know death will not part you. It's not being afraid of death because you KNOW you will be together for eternity.
After losing my grandpa last week, I have found myself constantly thinking about Love. I feel like I could learn SO much from his example along with my grandma. Their love story is a true one. The kind that everyone wants. The perfect, pure, incredible love that is so amazingly strong that everyone around you can feel it. That, is what I wish for everyone. True Love. Everlasting Love. Thank you grandpa... for setting such a perfect example.

This song has been running through my mind on repeat for the past week and a half.. I think the words are beautiful...

Their first touch at seventeen was in the park
And the moon was full
She was beautiful to him
And her hair was long and her eyes were blue
And her skin was warm
And she turned to him
And he thought he knew what love was

Another touch at twenty-two on their wedding night
And the stars were bright
She was beautiful to him
And her hair smelled sweet and her lips were full
And her skin was warm
And she turned to him
And he thought he knew what love was

And then again at twenty-five when the baby came
And the sun was high
She was beautiful to him
And her hair was damp and her fingers shook
And her skin was warm
And she turned to him
And he thought he knew what love was

Later on at fifty-four sitting on the porch
All the children gone
She was beautiful to him
And her hair was gray and her forehead lined
And her skin was warm
And she turned to him
And he thought he knew what love was

Their last touch at eighty-five was by her bed
And the moon was full
She was beautiful to him
And her hair was thin and her eyes were closed
And her skin was cold
And she turned to him
And he knew that he knew what love was

After sixty eight years of laughter and tears
He knew that he knew what love was.

February 16, 2010

Grandpa....


Last night I felt as if time was standing still, and yet I felt as if it was moving at a million miles per hour.
Yesterday morning I found out that my Grandpa Israelsen, along with my sweet grandma had made a decision that I hope I never have to make. The decided that rather than have my grandpa go through a very difficult surgery that would most likely result in him having to rely on machines for the rest of his life, that he would instead return home from Mkay Dee hospital in Ogden and live out his last few days amongst family and loved ones.
As soon as we could, we went over to visit him. We were amongst cousins, uncles, aunts and sweet, sweet grandma. As soon as he was alert, we were able to talk to grandpa. He looked so happy and peaceful. It was so hard to believe that he won't be around much longer. That he is on his way to a much better place.
As more family arrived, we all gathered around grandpa and sang songs. "I am a Child of God", "Home on the Range" and "God Bless America" were just a few.. I will never forget that experience. Looking around at all my cousins... seeing the tears in their eyes. We all love grandpa so much. He made each one of us feel like we were his best friend. I can't imagine life without him. He told us that we need to remember to "Seek ye first the kingdom of God..." He also said that he hopes he can endure to the end. He already has. I hope and pray that I can be like my grandpa. I want to be so prepared when the time comes, that I would not be afraid to pull the plug and accept that my time has come.
I was wanting to badly to somehow express to him how much I love him, but when the time came, all I could find were tears. I felt so strongly that I needed to tell him I love him, and then my opportunity presented itself... My aunts needed help emptying his urinal because no one knew how, so I did it for them and walked them all through the process. I think that sort of opened up the door for me and I became his unofficial nurse for the night. I then took out his IV's in hopes that he would feel more comfortable without them. I was also able to oversee his transfer into bed and felt like everyone was turning to me for advice. It was so nice to be able to give them sound answers and feel like I was in some way being of help. After everyone else had left, I was overcome with a wonderful feeling that I had finally told him I love him. I had told him through my actions. I am so grateful I was able to help him. And if I never get another thing out of all the time and money I have spent on nursing school, it will all be worth it for what I was able to do for my grandpa last night.
Before we left, my grandma sweetly asked Scott if he could remove my grandpa's wedding ring. When he told me this, I completely broke down. I felt so blessed to have been able to be there at that time and to be a part of his last hours. I am so grateful for the gospel and knowledge that we all have of the Atonement. What a glorious blessing it is.
I love you Grandpa!

February 14, 2010

Valentines Day!



I had really been looking forward to Valentines Day this year... Which is really odd for me because I grew up with a real hatred for the holiday. But I think things change when you get married and it's a lot easier to enjoy "the day of love" when you actually have someone in your life that you are in love with :).
This year, Scott decided to be really secretive (his favorite thing) and he went out around Logan setting up a scavenger hunt for me. He took pictures of certain letters in different signs and they had a sweet little clue/love note and candy attached to each one. By the time I got to the last location, I was able to put all of the pictures together and it spelled out "I Love you". :) I can honestly say I don't know any other guy on the planet as thoughtful and romantic as my man. It meant so much to me that he would take the time and effort to do something so sweet. He even let our 13 year old neighbor girl go around town with him to hide the clues. I also thought that was pretty dang sweet.
I just feel really lucky to have such a wonderful husband and I'm glad that we were able to spend a wonderful day/night together.
Happy Valentines Day!!

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