Grandpa....

Last night I felt as if time was standing still, and yet I felt as if it was moving at a million miles per hour.
Yesterday morning I found out that my Grandpa Israelsen, along with my sweet grandma had made a decision that I hope I never have to make. The decided that rather than have my grandpa go through a very difficult surgery that would most likely result in him having to rely on machines for the rest of his life, that he would instead return home from Mkay Dee hospital in Ogden and live out his last few days amongst family and loved ones.
As soon as we could, we went over to visit him. We were amongst cousins, uncles, aunts and sweet, sweet grandma. As soon as he was alert, we were able to talk to grandpa. He looked so happy and peaceful. It was so hard to believe that he won't be around much longer. That he is on his way to a much better place.
As more family arrived, we all gathered around grandpa and sang songs. "I am a Child of God", "Home on the Range" and "God Bless America" were just a few.. I will never forget that experience. Looking around at all my cousins... seeing the tears in their eyes. We all love grandpa so much. He made each one of us feel like we were his best friend. I can't imagine life without him. He told us that we need to remember to "Seek ye first the kingdom of God..." He also said that he hopes he can endure to the end. He already has. I hope and pray that I can be like my grandpa. I want to be so prepared when the time comes, that I would not be afraid to pull the plug and accept that my time has come.
I was wanting to badly to somehow express to him how much I love him, but when the time came, all I could find were tears. I felt so strongly that I needed to tell him I love him, and then my opportunity presented itself... My aunts needed help emptying his urinal because no one knew how, so I did it for them and walked them all through the process. I think that sort of opened up the door for me and I became his unofficial nurse for the night. I then took out his IV's in hopes that he would feel more comfortable without them. I was also able to oversee his transfer into bed and felt like everyone was turning to me for advice. It was so nice to be able to give them sound answers and feel like I was in some way being of help. After everyone else had left, I was overcome with a wonderful feeling that I had finally told him I love him. I had told him through my actions. I am so grateful I was able to help him. And if I never get another thing out of all the time and money I have spent on nursing school, it will all be worth it for what I was able to do for my grandpa last night.
Before we left, my grandma sweetly asked Scott if he could remove my grandpa's wedding ring. When he told me this, I completely broke down. I felt so blessed to have been able to be there at that time and to be a part of his last hours. I am so grateful for the gospel and knowledge that we all have of the Atonement. What a glorious blessing it is.
I love you Grandpa!